Picture this: a wedding that involved not one, not two, but three different cakes, a ring bearer that was a dog in a tiny tuxedo with a top hat, and a bride who wore sneakers under her gown. This was the glorious chaos of Steve Marsh and Alicja’s big day. If you think your family wedding was a circus, hold my beer, because this one had elephants—no, really, there were actual elephants at the venue, but that’s a story for later.
The Meet-Cute That Started It All
Steve and Alicja met in the most 21st-century way possible: on a dating app, but only after Steve accidentally swiped left on her profile three times. Alicja later admitted she almost unmatched him because his profile bio just said “I like tacos and naps.” Apparently, that was a deal-maker for her, not a deal-breaker.
Their first date was at a karaoke bar where Steve butchered a Journey song so badly the bartender gave them free drinks just to make him stop. Alicja, a classically trained pianist, said she saw “potential.” I think she meant she saw a project she could fix, but love is blind and apparently also deaf.
Must Read
The Proposal That Involved A Llama
Steve proposed on a random Tuesday at a petting zoo. He hired a llama named Gerald to wear a sign that said “Will you marry me?” on its neck. Gerald promptly ate the sign before Alicja could read it, so Steve had to yell the question while chasing the llama through a pen of startled goats.
She said yes, but only after she stopped laughing and he’d caught the llama. The engagement ring was a vintage heirloom, but the real symbol of their love is the framed photo of Steve covered in goat feed and llama drool. It hangs in their hallway.
The Wedding Prep: Controlled Chaos
Planning the wedding was like herding cats, if the cats were drunk and on fire. Alicja wanted a garden theme, but Steve accidentally ordered 500 sunflowers shaped like hot dogs because he misread the catalog. The florist had a quiet breakdown, but they kept the hot dog sunflowers as a tribute to Steve’s questionable reading skills.
The seating chart was a battlefield. Steve’s Uncle Bob insisted on bringing his live chicken as a plus-one, and Alicja’s grandmother demanded a seat next to the dessert table “for strategic purposes.” Grandma didn’t care about the ceremony; she was there for the tiramisu.
Captivate Cinema | +Celebrate Wedding Film | Alicia+Steve - YouTube
The Ceremony: Where Things Got Weird
The ceremony was held under a giant oak tree, which was lovely until a very confident squirrel stole Alicja’s veil mid-vow. The officiant, a friend who got ordained online, panicked and started quoting lines from The Princess Bride. Nobody noticed the difference.
When they exchanged rings, Steve’s hands were shaking so badly he dropped the band into Alicja’s cleavage. She fished it out, whispered, “Not the first time you’ve lost something down there,” and the entire crowd howled. The videographer caught it all, and that clip is now their most-watched Instagram reel.
The Reception: Sugar, Booze, and Surprises
Here is where the elephants I mentioned come in. Steve’s cousin, who works at a circus, brought two elephants as a “surprise gift.” They were trained to paint with their trunks, and one of them painted a portrait of the couple that looked like two blobs with eyes. It’s currently in their living room, framed in gold.
The food was a mash-up of Polish and American traditions, which meant pierogi next to mac and cheese. Alicja’s family insisted on a shot of vodka between every course, and Steve’s family demanded a complete hot dog bar. By the third course, Steve’s dad was challenging Alicja’s uncle to a dance-off. Spoiler: nobody won, but the carpet lost.
Jessie and Steve Marsh Wedding Story : Black Hills Bride
The three cakes were: a traditional white tier, a red velvet one shaped like a spaceship, and a gluten-free carrot cake that nobody touched because it was stored next to the elephant painting station.
The Surprise Fact You Won’t Believe
Here’s the kicker: the entire wedding was filmed by a drone. The drone flew too low during the first dance and clipped Steve in the back of the head, sending him stumbling into the cake spaceship. The ship crashed, but they saved two slices from the bridge. The drone footage of the crash is now their official wedding video, set to “Amazing Grace.”
And the most surprising fact? Neither Steve nor Alicja was legally married at the end of the night. They forgot to sign the marriage license because they were too busy chasing the llama that had escaped from the petting zoo—yes, Gerald the Llama made an unannounced comeback. He stole the veggie platter.
The Aftermath: A Chaotic Happy Ending
They signed the license three days later at a Denny’s. The waitress was their witness, and they paid for the grand slam with wedding gift money. That, my friends, is the definition of true love: filing your marriage paperwork over a Grand Slamwich and a side of hash browns.
Steve and Alicja now have a pet goat (long story) and a rule: “No live animals at anniversaries.” But we all know that’s a lie. Gerald the Llama is invited to their first anniversary party next month, and rumor has it he’s learning to juggle wine glasses. I can’t wait for the sequel.