Let’s talk about Bob Mortimer. The man is a national treasure. He’s a comedy legend, a purveyor of the bizarre, and a master of the non-sequitur.
But here’s the real question for 2026: how old are his sons? It’s a weirdly specific curiosity. But with Bob, everything is a little weird. And that’s why we love it.
The Two Lads in Question
Bob has two sons. Their names are Harry and Tom. They are the often-mentioned, rarely-seen stars of his chaotic anecdotes.
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We hear about them in his stories. Like the time Harry threw a satsuma at his head. Or when Tom convinced him a pigeon was a spy.
Their ages are a bit of a mystery. Bob likes to keep things loose. He’s not a man for rigid timelines.
Let’s Do the Math (Don’t Panic)
We know Bob’s sons were born in the early 1990s. Harry arrived first, in 1993. Tom followed shortly after, in 1994.
Simple arithmetic is our friend here. Just add the years. It’s more fun than we had in school.
So, How Old Are They in 2026?
Let’s start with Harry. Born in 1993, he turns 33 in 2026. That’s a proper adult. He probably has a mortgage and a pension plan.
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Now for Tom. Born in 1994, he becomes 32. He’s right on his brother’s heels. A pair of thirty-something lads.
Think about that. Bob Mortimer, the man who talks about “snack-based sandwiches” and has a dog named Struggles, has two grown men as children.
Why This Is Hilarious
The absurdity is the point. Picture Bob, now in his mid-60s, still acting like a mischievous scamp. His sons are in their prime, dealing with real life.
Imagine him phoning Harry for a chat. “Alright, son? A wasp just asked me for a loan. Do you think it’s a sign?” That’s the energy we’re dealing with.
It’s a beautiful contrast. Chaos versus adulthood. Bob is the eternal child. His kids are the responsible ones no one asked for.
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Quirky Facts to Impress Your Mates
Did you know Bob has mentioned his sons on Would I Lie to You?? Of course he has. One story involved a “sneaky fox” and a missing sausage roll. Tom was implicated.
Another fact: Bob once said his sons think he’s “a bit of a berk.” That’s high praise from a Mortimer offspring. It means he’s doing something right.
He also revealed that Tom once tried to convince him he was a “part-time wizard.” Bob believed him for three days. Classic.
The Age Gap is Gold
There’s only one year between Harry and Tom. That’s a tight sibling bond. They probably finish each other’s sentences. Or steal each other’s snacks.
Bob is 64 in 2026. So there’s a 31-year age gap between him and Harry. That’s a whole other generation. A generation of concrete and pigeons.
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It means Bob was a dad in his thirties. He was still doing stand-up. He was probably telling jokes about “tiny, aggressive badgers.” His sons had no idea what they were in for.
The Big Picture (Sort Of)
Why do we care about the ages of Bob Mortimer’s sons? Because he makes everything fun. He turns normal life into a pantomime.
Knowing they are 32 and 33 in 2026 makes his stories even better. It grounds the chaos. It proves that even the most ridiculous man has a family.
It also gives us a timeline. We can now picture Bob, aged 50, dealing with teenage sons. Teenagers who probably asked, “Dad, why are you talking to that seagull?”
What They Might Be Doing Now
We don’t actually know their jobs. Bob keeps them private. That’s good dad-ing. But we can guess. Maybe Harry is a dentist. That would kill Bob. “He just pokes my fillings and laughs.”
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Maybe Tom works in finance. Think of the office stories. “My dad says the spreadsheet is a beehive. He won’t stop buzzing.”
Or maybe they are both secretly comedians. Imagine a Mortimer dynasty. A world of surreal jokes and sudden vegetable attacks. We’d pay to see that.
The Takeaway
So there you have it. As of 2026, Bob Mortimer’s sons are 33 and 32. They are grown men, living in a world their father finds utterly baffling.
It’s a simple bit of trivia. But it’s trivia with soul. It reminds us that even the most brilliantly odd people have kids who roll their eyes.
Next time you watch Bob on TV, picture Harry and Tom. They are out there, somewhere, probably shaking their heads. And smiling. Because having Bob Mortimer as a dad? That’s the real punchline.